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Archive for January, 2011

Tears & Smiles

Something about this week just hasn’t been right—exams, studying, grades, tragedies, memories, eulogies.  I can’t seem to forget these dates.

i. Two students in Vermont committed suicide, and there just aren’t enough words to express what I’m feeling.

ii. It is the six-year anniversary of Ila Pollard, one of our dear friends/classmates who passed away in 2005.  The date of January 20 is engraved in my mind, and no matter how many years pass, it just hurts a whole lot more.  I wrote a little something about Ila, as I do every year since I usually turn to writing.  Click here to read it.

iii. First exams ever—as a freshman, I have finally seen & realized how stressful this whole process is.  But nevertheless, it was sort of a break with the half days and all.  But, that also gave us too much time to ponder over everything stressful that’s happening this week—which wasn’t too great.

iv. On a positive note, I aced all of my exams & it’s just the best feeling ever to know that all that studying (a whole day on Monday, I may add) was completely worth it.  But now, much to my dismay, we’re back to whole days & homework.  Plus, my gym class this semester starts on Tuesday.  Whoopee!

v. It “feels like” -22 degrees Fahrenheit today.  That’s not normal—even for Vermont.  So we are just trapped up in the house with the hopes of the weather tuning down.  Plus, there are rumors, ambiguous rumors, of a snowstorm approaching—blizzards, they say, but not a single person can come out and just tell us if we should plan to stay home (snow day?) or not.

vi. On top of all this great news, I’ve caught myself a cold.  After staying in bed for a day & catching up on Harry Potter series (finally on the 5th, which is the last one since I started on the 6th!), I still feel like yuck so I’m taking a well-deserved break.

vii. I feel frustrated with my unhelpful musings & my fingers because I haven’t written anything worthwhile in too, too long.  And no matter how many times I open up New Post and stare at the screen, my muse very stubbornly ceases to appear.  I just need to rant/yell/scream & I’ll feel better.

viii. Watched any good movies lately?  I’m out of ideas/thoughts on what movies to watch.  If you don’t know already, I’m sort of obsessed with movies.  I need some good ones!  If you know any, comment please!

ix. “ I figure life’s a gift and I don’t intend on wasting it.  You don’t know what hand you’re gonna get dealt next.  You learn to take life as it comes at you…to make each day count” –Jack Dawson (Leonardo di Caprio) Titanic 1997—

One of the most inspirational/incredible/amazing quotes from an inspirational/incredible/amazing film.  If you know me, you know that this is my favorite quote ever.

x. Here’s a video to cheer you up after reading this woeful blog post:

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i. digesting colors

I stopped pushing the wind
into the hallows of the flowers
as they swirl in colors and scents,
and the wind stopped blowing
into the colors.
I stopped trembling my weight
on the surface of the earth;
green grass, scissor-blades,
the earth smell & taste,
the blood-tinged tanginess of soil
deep from the burrows below,
and I know it so well,
it’s almost as if I didn’t.
& I can taste the colors on my tongue,
almost as much as I can taste the earthy soil.

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We are flying feathers,
dancing in the shadows of the moon,
dancing into the light of the sun
as it wakes in the morning
until we just disappear in its reflection.

And we are windmills who tamper with the winds—
we send petals amongst the breaths
& molecules & dying heart-beats;
we are rooftops, broken in the center,
forced to bend but it’s for the good of it all.

We are flashing light bulbs,
singing our light out into the distance,
singing into the eyes & ears until everyone can notice
the flicker of the lights.

And we are the pages of the books of the children—
worn with touches, breaths, unconditional love;
we are the quills that turn into pens, wrung with ink-blotches
that swim out onto white space
until it becomes an array of black,
but one day the black will become white again.

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Pizza Night!

I’m a bit disappointed in myself—I’ve already broken my new year’s resolution.  I was talking to one of my friends yesterday, telling her about the blog & where I’m going with it (yes, I am advertising it to everyone).  When I told her my goal was to write every day, she responded by saying, “You know that’s not going to happen, right?” It was sort of a jinx, I guess.  But anyways, at least I’m trying to blog everyday.

So, I used to blog about movies a lot & now I think I should start with books.  Well, to start off—I’m reading Harry Potter for the first time.  Yes, I in my fourteen years, have not read Harry Potter (excluding the fourth one in 3rd grade, which took me two months & I didn’t comprehend.)  Since I have almost all of the books scattered around my house, I just started off with the first one I could get my hands on, which was conveniently the sixth.  Then I read the seventh, then the first, next the second & so on.  Summer goal:  Read the series in order.  Well, anyways, I never really liked the series.  But after I watched the 7th movie, I had to read them & they are just fantastic/incredible/unbelievable…nothing that words could ever comprehend.  So now, I’m finally turning into a Harry Potter nerd.  YES!

On another note, I have a stack of Christmas/Holiday/New Year’s books hanging off of the brink of my dresser & they sit untouched.  I think once I get over this whole Harry Potter obsession-thing (which, from experience of others, is impossible), I can finally get my hands on some Jodi Picoult books, which is my, let’s face it, true obsession.  (Yes, I am in love with books about mystery/law/murder/love/family which always conclude in a surprising manner).

But tonight, I doubt I’ll be reading—probably studying for mid-terms or finishing up that English essay that’s been lingering around the house for the day.  I also have Eat, Pray, Love (the movie), so it’ll probably be a study/movie/tea night, along with the pizza that’s sitting downstairs.  (These just happen to be my favorite Saturday nights, minus the studying)

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Reality

I’m unusually behind on my homework today, but I think this is what high school is supposed to feel like.  The past few months, I’ve followed my usual bedtime & routine, never-stressed, never-overloaded, but I think it’s time that I became accustomed to what high school is really like.  I always hear people saying that they didn’t get any sleep because of homework/studying/extracurriculars & it feels like I’m the only one with nine hours of solid rest.

Highlights of my day:

i. Oiled my French horn so that the keys are quicker & more efficient & yes, I am a band geek.

ii. Watched a thrilling action-packed 80’s film in Honors’; where, of course, predictably, the good guy prevails & the bad guy is like a “cartoon character” according to my English teacher.  He’s convinced that Iron Eagle is a depiction of the Odyssey but I honestly cannot see it.  Nevertheless, it was an awesome movie & I usually can’t watch even five minutes of an action movie.

iii. Got hot chocolate at lunch, only it was chocolaty hot chocolate & not the yucky chocolate-touched lukewarm water they usually have.  Plus, the lunch lady with the dirty glares who thinks I’m “obsessed” with hot chocolate wasn’t there.

iv. Saw a eensy-weensy newborn baby.  & though, to be honest, I was disappointed to see that she was bigger than I had expected (let’s just say I don’t see newborns often), she was just so cute/adorable/incredible & it was an inspirational moment.  On another note, I got wobbly legs the minute I stepped into the hospital–still haven’t recovered.

v. I have no quizzes/tests/projects/presentations tomorrow & it is what we call a miracle.  Yes, I’m a freshman, but doesn’t mean that it’s still not overwhelming for me to see a pile of tests on a Friday of a rather-long week.

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Translucent Roses

It is already the fifth day into the year & my sights are already set on the success of my one & only New Year’s Revolution: to blog more.  I think I can actually do it this year.  No, it won’t be like a few years ago, or the year after that, or the year after that.  This is a new year; a new beginning.  (I’ve been saying that a lot lately)

It’s been on my mind to create a new blog lately.  My old one looked/sounded/read like a middle schooler’s diary & I think I have more to contribute than that.  Plus, there’s just something about starting something new that’s exciting & refreshing.  I’m so excited!

Five things I think I should end my first real blog post with:

i. I haven’t completely figured out the meaning of this blog.  I think it’s       just a combination of my musings & my YWP blog.

ii. I have a certain obsession with ampersands & I feel like that’s something that takes getting used to.  But you can’t deny that ampersands feel warm & cozy & I just couldn’t imagine life without them.

iii. I have obtained a recent love for classical music.  Maybe it’s because I’m finally beginning to love my music or maybe it’s because I’ve never opened my ears.  & one day (when I figure out how to), you’ll be hearing nothing but that music.

iv. Regardless of the fact that my first high-school midterms are…right around the corner, I’ve decided to do whatever it takes to get at least one word out in a form of a post & maybe I’ll be wasting time/space/energy, but it’ll be worth it one day.

v. I’ve never figured out how to wrap up my writing.

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