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Archive for January, 2013

Character Studies

Character studies are my new thing now.  I create people in my mind, and I twist their words to create personalities.  I’m working on one about a lawyer with no prior knowledge about law, but rather a premise of what it might be like.  However, the one I’ve posted below is a new idea I’ve been working with.  I’ll be honest: I don’t know where it’s going.  I read a post on a prose Tumblr blog the other day about writing a story in which the main character falls in love with the reader.  I’ve been told it’s literally impossible, but I’m up for the challenge.  I think this study started off with that objective, but it seemed to divert into various paths.  It’s not complete, but here’s what I have so far….(note: this is completely fiction.  I am not a pessimist…)

Caged Animal

I was once told that I am a pessimist because I see a world that is half-empty and you see a world that is half-full.  But I am a realist.  I often have thoughts that I cannot fathom.  Sometimes I feel as if my body is separated from my mind by a fine line that never falters.  Other times, I am simply disconnected.  And I take it that you think you understand how I feel, but you, the constant optimist, cannot comprehend the pain of falling apart.

Speaking of falling, I have never fallen in love before.  I have a theory that love doesn’t exist, and I spend every day searching for some form of invalidation.  We live in a world of billions, but acquaint ourselves with only so few in our lifetimes.  I am often a creature at a zoo, isolated by iron-wrought cages and taunted by liberated passersby.  I have never stepped beyond these boundaries, and perhaps this is why I have never found love. I am not a believer of soul mates and star cross’d lovers, and neither am I a believer of Shakespeare.   Yet, I am a believer of a moment of impact, and I have not found that moment yet.  Think about this: Maybe this moment right now, writing to you, is the peak of my story, and maybe from here, it all descends. Fate is bloody cruel at times.  I suppose I am merely a victim of life.

I would like to tell you about myself.  I am not understood easily.  I write letters in my spare time, and when there is no time to spare, I am but a wanderer.  There is no one in particular whom I write to, just to the passing souls who care to have a listen.  Yet I am free in this one sense; I have never had to appeal to an audience in my writing.  I am a mother to words that dance to their own beat.

Just a bit of an insight into the world of my hidden writing.  Try not to judge me too much.  I figure that it’ll be a challenge to write in the perspective of a pessimist, when I consider myself an optimist.  Or maybe this is just my moment of self-discovery.  Back to work for me!  Hope your weekend is fabulous.

(PS. Penguin Plunge is next Saturday at 11am at the waterfront, SO GO SUPPORT THE CHILLIN’ CHAMPS!  I’m also still looking for donations!  Help out a fantastic cause.)

-B

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new souls

Hi everyone!

I’m back after yet another hiatus.  Exam week.  It has been the most relaxing exam week I’ve ever had, though I’m not sure what this says about my year and my level of laziness.  I scored well, had minimal breakdowns, and barely lost a minute of sleep.  And now, I am spending the first day of my four day weekend watching the Les Mis 25th Anniversary Concert (I have a problem, and I fully embrace it) and catching up on necessary emails and work.  I have up on my screen six stories I have worked on in the past year.  I have six stories that have potential, actual potential, and laziness is my only hindrance at this point.

So, this is my third after-New Year post, and I think that maybe I have finally realized what I want from this year.  Here I go:

  • Never judge a book by its cover.  I suppose this applies in its metaphorical sense, but I mean it literally.  I have lost out on some incredible literature because of my prejudice.  I have turned away books, scorned at their titles, put them back on the shelf for their unattractive covers.  I will not judge a book by its cover.  For example, Angels and Demons is one of the last books I would have ever considered reading, but it is wonderful.  Maybe I’m a changed woman, maybe I’m more appreciative, or maybe I’m just more open-minded.  I can live with all of these.  
  • Keep promises.  I might’ve said this in my past post, but let me reiterate it.  I found a piece I wrote this summer about breaking promises.  I usually have a clear idea of what I write and why I write it, but I couldn’t figure this one out.  I was evidently upset about something, or upset at myself.  I promised myself that I wouldn’t break promises.
  • Do what I love.  This is a bit of a “duh” factor, but I realized that in the past year or so, I’ve held myself back.  Perhaps it’s because of my obsession with college or with the immense stress that has beaten me down.  For example, I love theatre.  I love acting and I love standing under the bright lights.  There’s something riveting about opening night—pulling the curtains back, standing in the spotlight, feeling every pair of eyes burning through you.  And there’s something satisfying about the way words are so powerful on stage, the way they can linger and bend and dance, the way they affect every emotion of every person in the audience.  I have missed this.  I auditioned for my school’s Winter Cabaret, and ended up with an entire monologue scene.  While it doesn’t seem like much, I haven’t felt this thrilled about something like this for a while.  I cannot wait for that rush, that satisfaction (PS. the cabaret is on Feb. 21st, so don’t miss it!).
  • Don’t give up easily.  As I’ve talked about extensively, I have a love-hate relationship with tennis.  My racquet has picked up dust in the garage for the past six months, or so.  And the worst part is, I haven’t missed it.  But today, I happened to catch a few sets of the Sharapova-Williams Australian Open match, and every memory of the sport came flooding back.  I was at the edge of my seat, cringing at every double fault, and cheering at every winner.  And I missed it.  I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I actually missed it.  I wrote something during the summer about how I feel about tennis, and reading it again, I realize I will always feel this way about that sport.  But I don’t want to stop because I have worked so hard.  I think something I have to learn this year is how to push through something, and how to endure the struggles that come on the way.  That always becomes difficult for me, especially when I have to work to love something.  But deep down inside, I know I love tennis, and I’m not going to let myself give it up.
  • Take a risk or two.  I lack courage, and this is no secret.  But 2012 was about taking leaps, and 2013 can be too.  Especially with college coming up, I need to step out of this bubble that is so restrictive.  I am depriving myself of who I can be.
  • Likewise, be confident in what I do.  I have this fear of what people will say about what I do.  The most significant example is in my writing.  I think the only place I have truly created my own voice is Translucent Roses because it is solely mine.  I have rarely worried about what readers think or who will notice my grammar errors (unfortunately there are a lot) or if what I am writing about is relevant.  It’s kind of my own realm.  I wish I could extend this out to everything else I do.  I am always hesitant, asking endless questions, afraid of making mistakes.  I think this, in a way, oppresses my creativity.  So I will be confident and I will take leaps.  I may make a few mistakes and I may be shut down by one person or maybe two, but life is full of critics.

I thank you for reading my musings of the day.  I suppose I’ve been thinking a lot about what I want to change this year or, rather, what I want to improve upon.  And most of these resolutions are ones I’ve always been working on—nothing absolutely new.  I think that’s what a resolution is about: another small step.  It’s impractical to completely change something in just a year.

So now that I know what I want out of 2013, the next few months are filled with exciting events.  The VYO has a concert on Sunday with two world-renowned opera singers, Latonia Moore and Jesus Garcia, who are brilliant and beautiful.  I fall in love with their voices every time I have a chance to listen.  I have never heard someone sing with such resonance, such beauty.  Their expressions tell it all.  If you have a chance, please do buy tickets!  We’re playing some of the most well-known operas, which has consequently made me fall in love with opera (my YouTube channel proves it).  It will be one of the best concerts of the year, I assure you. Additionally, the VYO is going to Montreal on Tuesday to see the Budapest Orchestra perform (my first professional orchestral concert!).  The week after, I’m traveling to Boston for an awards ceremony for the New England Water Environment Association for my science project last year.  In February, I have a DECA Business competition coming up, the cabaret, a college tour, and a vacation to Aruba!  2013 has already been incredible, and it looks that way for the rest of the year.

Quick note: I just watched a recording of the Golden Globes, and there are so many amazing movies that I have yet to have seen.  Lincoln, Life of Pi, Silver Linings Playbook—any other suggestions?

Anyways, hopefully I’ll post a little bit of the prose I’ve been working on later.  Hope exams went well!

Happy weekend!
-B

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A new year always reminds the world to be both inspiring and cheesy, while TR is like this all year round.  TR: Inspiration, one post at a time.  I’ll consider making this my new tagline because, after all, a new year is about a new start!  The year has been nice, so far, but four days can only say so much.  2013’s first spell of bad luck came in the form of below 0 temperatures and near-hypothermia, but Mother Nature seems to be in a better mood now.  I had to start the year with some procrastination and get it out of my system, but I truly believe that this will be a focused year.  (I also used to believe in the Tooth Fairy, but that didn’t work out.)  Anyways, I’m so pumped about this year—I see a string of opportunities that I’m ready to take on.  There are two that I look forward to the most: my senior solo audition and college apps.  The senior solo audition is for an opportunity to solo with the VYO next year, which would be a dream come true, but also quite unlikely.  Nonetheless, it doesn’t hurt to try—after all, that is one of my resolutions for this year!  I’m playing the beautiful Meditation from Thaïs, which is my favorite piece in the world, and my audition is in May—-so wish me luck!  As for the college apps: well, that’s self-explanatory.  By the end of this year, I’ll have applied to all of my schools, and this is both frightening and exciting.  I actually just set up a tour at Princeton in February, which will be my first tour!  Here’s to the start of a new adventure called College.

I looked over the resolutions I wrote at 2am, and realized that they’re rather clichéd.  It’s a good thing that I’m not a writer.  I need goals that don’t include exercise or self-improvement because those two just never seem to work.  Maybe I’ll vow to be spontaneous and take the year as it goes.  One resolution I do have, and am genuine about, is doing more for others.  First of all, I’m jumping in the lake for the Penguin Plunge in early Feb. to support the Special Olympics of Vermont, which is an amazing cause.  I am both inspired and in awe of the determination and diligence of the individuals who partake in the Special Olympics, and the least I can do is help out.  So if you are a TR supporter or a supporter of good causes, please do donate!  Any amount would be great.  In other volunteering news, I’m looking to start performing the violin at a local senior living facility.  After my experience over break, I can’t think of anything more fulfilling than enriching people’s lives with music, especially those of elderly people.  And other than this, I suppose I’ll take any opportunities I can to help people, in any way, shape, or form.  What I love most about all this is to be able to talk to a variety of people with a variety of stories.  The world is so interesting, but sometimes it feels like we don’t take time to explore, even locally.  So get out, talk to people, and do something!  Also, TR’s personal tip for 2013: smile at people you see, on the street, at school, at work, etc.  It makes them feel good, and it makes you happier!  (Just a bit more inspiration)

I suppose I should do something worthwhile with my Friday night, even though all I want is to be able to read a good book by the fireplace or watch a movie.  I have an audition and midterms in a week, but I won’t let myself succumb to the cries of my textbooks and violin.  Technically I’ve had enough time to “catch up” with 10 days of vacation, but another night off doesn’t hurt, does it?

Happy weekend!

-B

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Indestructible in 2013

And so it’s come again: a New Year.  Happy New Year!  I spent the last ten-second countdown sipping sparkling cider from champagne flutes with some of my closest friends, reminiscing about a good (and bad) year.  And right after the cheers spread, I found myself diving into the snow—a part of my New Year’s resolution to be “courageous.”  New years never feel different to me, but for the first time, I’m feeling the excitement that 2013 brings.  I have not thought of my resolutions, but as I write this post that I should’ve written hours ago, I’m realizing that there are things I want to change, but also things that I want to stay the same.  2012 was one of the best years I’ve had: I went to France, turned 16, met incredible people, won an international science award, won a friendship award, made new friends, got into VYO, became a junior, visited one of the most beautiful places in India, etc.  And while 2013 has a lot to live up to, I think it has the potential to be life-changing.

Translucent Roses was probably one of my greatest achievements for 2012.  It received over 5000 views, and while that may not seem like enough, that’s double what 2011 got.  Here’s my first resolution of the year: receive 10,000 views on TR.  Even better, more followers, more publicity, more shares, more posts, more ideas, etc.  Can we do it?  Yes we can.  TR’s birthday is tomorrow, and I have nothing but gratitude towards everyone who reads, follows, and supports it, because it would be nowhere without you.  In two years, TR has not only honed my writing, but made me more self-confident.  Everything I write is genuine, and to have people keep reading is truly a self-esteem booster.  I can only hope that it goes upwards from here!

So, it’s 2013.  In two paragraphs (which is unusually short), I have yet to have come up with a list of resolutions.  But think of this: if you could do anything right now or this year, what would it be?  Whatever it is, do it.  This question itself brings to mind so much that I could be doing, but am afraid to or find reason not to.  So let’s make our primary resolution for this year to be fearless and open-minded.  With college apps and senior year approaching, I think only imagine that this resolution would be for the best.  People say that New Year’s Eve is just another day, and resolutions are just insignificant words, but I would have to disagree.  New Year’s Eve is a chance for us to reflect upon the previous year, and find ways to make ourselves happier and better people.  Here’s what I have so far as a tentative list of resolutions:

  • Write a book (as always)
  • Finish what I start
  • Keep my promises
  • Say what’s on my mind
  • Read everything on my “to-read” list

That’s all I have for now….I don’t think my mind can spare much thinking at 2am.

Exactly a year ago, I was basking under the sun in Calcutta, blogging about scrumptious food and the feeling of being away from home on New Year’s.  2012 felt the same as 2011, and I saw no change in myself.  But over this year, I have changed—maybe for the better or maybe for the worst.  And in a year, who knows where I’ll be or who I’ll be or if I’ll be happy, but let’s hope that all three will be positive.  So once again, make 2013 about courage and seize every opportunity.  After all, we survived an apocalypse, so we are basically indestructible.  Use this as inspiration to have another incredible year.

-B

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