The past week has signified both an end and a beginning. To start off, I found out I was accepted to Brown. And then, I turned 18.
If you had told me four years ago that I would have been going to Brown, I probably would’ve cried. Somehow, over the years, the dream faded in and out, but now it’s happening. Yet, somehow, turning 18 has been more memorable. Usually, I find myself excited for my birthday, but for the first time, I was nervous. I mean, I’m an adult. I went to the DMV and signed my own forms and registered to vote and became an organ donor, all on the same day that I committed to Brown. Enrolling to college and becoming an adult in one week is quite overwhelming.
It feels like I’m on top of the world, but at the same time, I’m so worried about the next few years. Leaving Vermont—SBHS—is starting to sink in, and I don’t know how I feel about that. This past weekend, I went to the Dartmouth Model UN with some of my closest friends, and it all felt so bittersweet. As we laughed and cried and all that jazz, I became so sentimental (granted, when do I not) about leaving them. In fact, I’ve been friends with some of them for nearly thirteen years—how does one move on from that? Even more, I still can’t wrap my mind around living in Providence for the next four years, learning its streets, people, places. Or that I won’t be waking up every morning to the sound of my dogs barking in the yard or the sight of the same photos and stickers I’ve had on my walls for about seven years. And not to mention, now that the whole college app thing is over, the next battle is figuring out what to pursue (there are eight concentrations I like at Brown…….). Marine biology, business, international relations, policy, journalism, creative writing—everything sounds so amazing and interesting and I just don’t ever want to choose. Can’t I do everything?
I guess for now, all I want is to take advantage of these next few months. My bucket list for the summer is enormous (and yes, I will actually try to accomplish everything…). My friends and I just rented an apartment in August in Montreal for the Osheaga music festival. I’ve decided that these last few months at home should be unforgettable. Unfortunately, getting outdoors is nearly impossible with the ice age-like weather. April 4th, and the temperatures were in the 20’s this morning. So, here’s to hoping warm weather hits us soon!
On another note, it totally breaks my heart that March was the first month since the birth of TR that I didn’t post anything. Writing at least once a month was always a goal of mine, and now it seems like that’s all over. I’ve also been toying with the idea of starting a new blog in August, but I guess I have a hard time letting go of TR—despite my sporadic absences—since it’s basically driven me through my high school years. Decisions, decisions.
In the meantime—when I’m not thinking about my blog posts or lack thereof— I’ve been engrossed in writing a new short story that I started in Cabo in February, attempting to catch up on Oscar movies (Wolf of Wall Street, anyone?…yikes), and trying not to psych myself out about my future.
Last bit of shameless self-promotion: Rebelution has been getting more and more traffic lately, which makes me feel like a proud mother. So, if you haven’t yet…check it out, post your constructive criticism, share it on every social media, submit a post, etc etc!
Lots of love,